What is it like now that the excitement and novelty has worn off? Well, I’m struggling with constipation, Spanish classes are kicking my butt, I nearly faced the world without my phone, I don’t feel like I am fitting in, I am running out of money, I feel the edges of depression creeping in, friends and family feel far away, and the steep cobblestone streets are losing their appeal. “What am I doing? What was I thinking? Why was this a good idea?”
Yes, this is where my real journey begins. All the same things that I’ve worked with before the trip are still here. I’m also adjusting to all the free time that retirement offers (what day is it?). I am relearning the truth that this trip isn’t all rainbows and butterflies! I’m struggling with the reality that I am a tourist. (You must be saying, “You think?”) My interactions with native Mexicans revolve around them providing me a service: they want to sell me something, or I want something from them: food, rides, lessons, lodging, etc. It feels uncomfortable: I either want to buy stuff at high prices to help them, or I struggle with the constant perceived pressure to buy stuff and the wide variety in prices! I wander into some stores or restaurants and can see they are geared to estado unidenses (not Americans, because Mexicans believe they are Americans, too). It feels a bit inauthentic, catering to the rich ex-pat or tourist. I wander by some of the high end homes and resorts and feel sad, frustrated and jealous. So, I listen, let go, and seek to find my place here and learn the cultural context of my travels. Though very important, this is not as fun as admiring all the pretty things.
Along the Cañadidta de los Aguacates 
On Recreo headed into town 
The view down Mesones street, the Academia Hispano Ameriano is on the left.
Spanish lessons – I knew this would be a tricky one. The reality here is that I will not likely become fluent in Spanish by just taking lessons and being a tourist. My teacher says I have good intuition, but I am clueless about when I am selection the right response or why it is right. She says we need to take it day by day, but I see a big gap that I think I need to fill with a lot of remedial work. I have really enjoyed our teacher. She said that we need to start thinking in Spanish, as much of the work ahead of us, (as Intermediate on our way to Subjunctive) is not directly translatable. The nuances of what mode or time is base on the subtleties embedded in the Spanish language, not just logic of the English translation. I have one month before I start my next three-week language lesson in Puebla. I have subscribed to an on-line utility to help drill me in grammar. Wish me luck! I have enjoyed the other students in the classes – a very diverse group of people. We have gathered for dinner about once a week. Most of them signed up for one month and will be leaving soon. I signed up for two weeks and extended to a third week. For the first two weeks I lived in a family home very close to school with another student. They fed us well and engaged us in Spanish. The third week I moved to an Air BnB about a mile away from school. I now cook for myself and walk to and from school along a beautiful road called Cañadita de los Aguacates (Little Canyon of the Avocados). These photos are just some of the beautiful scenes along my walk!
I love terraces – and there are a lot of them in town! But they are not open for breakfast, just evenings and night. For safety reasons I had not been out in the evening. So when I had company and I staying in a home right downtown, I had my first opportunity to check out the terraces. Since then I try to find new ones. Below are the sights from a few of those that I have visited. My current favorite is La Luna Tapas Bar. As it is a little farther out, the 360 degree view is expansive.
La Azotea 
Antonia Bistro 
Antonia Bistro 
Hotel 1810 
Hotel 1810 
El Pegaso 
El Pegaso 
Quince 
La Luna Tapas Bar 
La Luna Tapas Bar 
La Luna Tapas Bar
Art and Flowers and Pretty Stuff – one of my favorite things to do is to pick a coffee shop, or cafe, in a part of town I have not yet been to and walk there on a route I have not yet seen. I am delighted and amazed at the creativity people have used as they decorate their homes, as well as the public forms of art. I am moved by the religious art, too. It seems so embedded in the culture and I love how it is expressed on the sides of their walls. There is a tour to highlight the street art in SMA, but I have not yet been on it.
My México Travels 
Fun observations, internal and external alike! I’m enjoying your words and photos immensely, and I hope you keep them coming.
For what it’s worth, I’ve reached that what-am-I-doing-here/what-was-I-thinking state many times. The part about being viewed as a walking wallet I can often settle by getting out of the tourist mainstream–as far outside as possible, to the point where I start to feel put-upon by the apparent indifference of the local people. It also helps to step outside my advance plans, such as they are; almost anything becomes routine after a while, even brightly colored stucco and impossibly steep cobblestones. Maybe you’re ready to hop a flight to Cuba….
When all else fails, I try on an imaginary return home to see whether it’s an improvement. Typically, I’m not really ready to end a trip for 11 1/2 months–the shift comes like clockwork. But for some people it’s a couple of weeks, for others it’s many months, and for a select few the answer is “never.” Whatever you choose, none of it is forever; you can easily reverse course and try something new (or the same thing all over again).
Enjoy!
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Mark – I so appreciate your observations. I know they come from real experiences.
I first saw my feelings as defeat, but then I could see the needed shift in observation. Yes, I did try out the “I could go home”, or “I could go to Cuba”. But there is great satisfaction in working through my reservations. I really like the option of “getting out of the tourist mainstream” option and am exploring that. I believe it may be easier once I leave SMA.
Thank you for appreciating my photos and text. It helps to know you are listening.
Take care, Kathleen
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Ah the joys and tribulations of traveling and being a tourist… kinda like the joys and tribulations of growing older or perhaps all of life. There is what we have in our minds and then there is the reality… the whole enchilada (pun intended). It is truly a road of discovery and sometimes the bumps are harder than we expected. I so appreciate you sharing the grit and dirt of the road and know you are the brave one embarking on a trip that others only dream of. A tu Salud Mi Amgia, BJ
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Much love to you BJ – yes! This is just life . . . In paradise 😚 That is the humor in it – life is life, no matter where one is. At first I was freaked, but then I saw the pattern and knew that this too is the journey. I look forward to our chat on Wednesday!
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